Ah! RADishes

So I turn the TV channel to The Cosby Show, because I love watching old sitcoms. Who doesn't like watching all of life's problems solved in 30 minutes? Actually less because there are a lot of commercials! So one of the radishes is annoyed:

Radish: Why are you watching this?
Me: Because I like this show
Radish: Why, it's stupid
Me: I said, because I like it...I like old sitcoms, I watch them all the time.
Radish: Yeah, I know they're dumb.

At this point, I really, really, really just want to tell him to stuff it. As if I like watch ESPN all day, I usually feel my IQ dropping. 10 minutes later, he comes downstairs again. He starts babbling about nothing:
We have cereal again?
Did you buy cereal?
(me not answering, but thinking: No, the cereal fairy, who is a second cousin to the super glue fairy once removed planted it there. It's actually magic cereal. No calories. Perhaps I'll have a bowl of no calorie super glue fairy leaving cereal before I go to bed.)

Next he picks up a bottle of benedryl:
Is this what you took? Do you have a cold?

I interrupt: I know what you are doing, I changed the channel (he saw all of 15 min. of a movie my stud left on) and now you are chattering absolute nonesense to get on my nerves. He hides a smile while pouring Fairy Cereal.

Well, he says, you changed the channel. I don't like this show. I told him to go to bed. Meanwhile, Bill Cosby is sure Vanessa is going to fall out of her strapless dress. My father wouldn't even acknowledge the possibility that the lumps in my strapless dress were breasts. I think he would have gone blind on the spot if had seen my prom dress. The tampons left on the truck seat, after all, where 'things' I had to get out of bed to remove from the truck seat. Clearly, such a manly truck would not operate correctly with tampons on the front seat. Acknowledging even a simple function of the female body was too much for him.

DS decided to rat out the radishes for waking him up at the unheard of *GASP* 11:30 am. DS is working his way through the rest of the Fairy Cereal, he makes my binges look like a light snack.

Speaking of Radishes, the only way I've been able to deal with the younger radish lately is to ignore him. Clearly, this is not going to accomplish any bonding. I really don't think that's going to happen anyway. I should probably feel sorry for him. Perhaps when school starts again I'll be able to, and perhaps I'll be able to be a treatement parent again.

Light bulb moment: I know why I've been so bingey the last couple of days. I feel like crap! When I have a cold I just can't seem to stop. I have to keep eating in order to keep the junk in my throat down. Bendryl and booze mix pretty well...not as good as booze and vicodin, but still pretty good. Stupid, but now that I know why I've been eating so much, I kinda gave myself permission, and I can get rid of the guilty feeling. I doubt Pam will appreciate that, she'll tell me to pull out the list of alternative self care activities, but none of those get rid of the yucky throat feeling. A 12 pack of ice cold coke would work too, but in the meantime here come the bing cherries.

These kids must be vampires! The don't sleep at night at all. I'm curious if after three bendryl I can stay up longer than they can.