Depression

I haven't been writing lately because I've been more depressed. I finally went to the dr and got my prescription switched because of the headaches I've been having, and I'm down to only a few HA a week. That's much more do-able. Plus, I got a 'script for celebrex which hopefully will help the foot pain. Hopefully, I'll be able to start exercising again. Yes, that was my latest most long standing excuse for not working out. But it's also the truest, and the most reliable. I'd work out for a few weeks and then slack off because I'd be so sore, among other reasons.

I got weighed today to, which does NOT help my depressed state. I'm back up to 225, with jeans on. But I've been eating just about anything and everything I want. I'm going to try one day at a time. It's such a daily uphill battle. I don't want to fight myself anymore, just the eating disorder. Slowly, I'm beginning to see the difference between me and the ED. Not that I don't still think I'm responsible for it, but I do think that the two are separate; I just could see where one started and one ended for a long time.

So...day by day...hopefully I'll carve out a few minutes each day to write too, it always helps to write down what I'm thinking and feeling. It's the single most useful tool I've learned in therapy. Not that there haven't been other tools, but this one is my favorite.