Happy Monday

I love Mondays. My one day of the week that I vow to do nothing. I do end up doing stuff, but only when I want to. Sadly, my to do list is lurking in the back of my mind and my Happy Monday is getting a bit depressing.

-renew CPR cert. Call ambulance service to arrange
-work on Kidney project
-order senior pics.
-finish buying Christmas presents for two nephews, a step nephew, and a BIL. Look for a Birthday present for my niece.
-Start planning for the weekend--get wedding present.
-Do budget

It really doesn't look like all that much, except that the drive is 300 miles, and I'll be doing it alone. The family BS will start since I'll be attending along, even though I'm pretty sure the rest of us want to be anywhere else than with the Bridezilla. Too bad she doesn't have the bridezilla excuse the rest of her life.

Food report: I'm happy to say I only had one hard day. I blame the apple dumplings. What triggered the binge? Well...before I analyze that, I'm going to figure out what I all ate.
-three apple dumplings
-1 cup pretzels
-8oz prime rib
-potato with butter/sour cream
1 1/2 pieces of garlic bread
1 1/2 cups of gnocchi with alfredo and chicken
broccoli

So how bad is that? More calories than I need in a day, I'm sure, but volume wise I don't think I can truly qualify this as a binge. Compulsive, yes...again, I blame the dumplings. I've classified sweets as 'bad' and therefore forbidden, therefore something that I'm likely to think about compulsively.

I also struggled with *NOT* working out for three days in a row. I went back and forth in my head, wondering if this was 'bad' or if it was my perfectionist nature kicking in. Okay, I'll face it, it was my perfectionist all or none nature kicking in. It was most 100% definately the part that wants it fixed now nature happening.

Therapist thinks this is going to contribute to the vicious cycle--now I'll feel bad, and this will lead to another binge. Perhaps that was true in the past, but I don't think that's what is happening now. The thoughts are becoming fleeting, and the rebound is quicker.

I'm still not thrilled with food/eating, although Friday night's meal/desert was the first I had been able to enjoy pretty much since I saw the therapist last. Otherwise, it was all just an effort. The dumpling were fun, once I got going, but overall...cooking, something I normally enjoy, has lost it's luster. The feelings are just all mushed up and nasty.