Crisis

There's nothing like a crisis to make me forget my focus. First it was helping other people. Another problem of mine, I hate to say no--for a couple of reasons.

1. They might say no when I need help.
2. I want people to like me--they might get mad if I say no
3. I have Superwoman complex

So I did intensive respite for someone else, exhausted myself, and invited disaster by saying "tomorrow is ALL ABOUT ME!!" HA! Disaster #2 in the form of Miss Amber in a car accident. Lovely. A couple of things were clarified for me though...first that I hate it when people are unhappy. Who likes to be around unhappy people? Instead of just distancing myself, why not just make them happy? Sounds like a brilliant solution. Except it doesn't work, it stress me out, and people like that just suck the life force out of me.

Add to THAT lovely hospital experience with the world's worst patient, I spent a weekend with family. So now I have stress, a long drive, spending time with a lot of unhappy people. Gee, makes a lot of sense. Really great way to take care of myself. And for a bonus, let's throw in a big nasty fight with dear old dad.

The best cure? Being alone. Sounds weird but just having time to myself is an amazing cure-all. Now if I could just learn to be patient with myself. I can give everyone else all the time in the world to work through their problems, but I think I should be able to figure it out NOW. I want results NOW too.